I love my children but do they feel loved by me?


When I started fostering I was sure that I was doing the right thing in the way I was expressing my love to the children. However, sometimes I felt that although I was showing love the child did not feel that I cared.

This was baffling me until I have found a quick read book by Chapman and Campbell called “5 Love Languages of Children”. This book opened my thinking and my eyes. And that I could adapt how I show my love to suit the child better.


The idea is very simple, we all have 5 main types of love languages:


  • words of affirmation,
  • quality time,
  • receiving gifts,
  • acts of service,
  • physical touch.

And all of us tend to drift towards one main type. This helped to improve the relationship and understanding between me and my child.

I even discovered that my top love language is Quality Time and that my husband’s love language is Words of Affirmation.

EUREKA! This discovery gave a boost to us as a couple as now know to sometimes let my husband know more often how much I love him and am proud of him, and my husband now understands how important it is for him to make time for me every day so that I feel loved.

Knowing about the different love languages had helped me to meet the needs of our children and connect with them much at a higher level as they have totally different love languages to mine.

If you ever feel that despite showing your children/people unconditional love you are not getting it right or are not feeling it back – then I strongly recommend the book: 5 Love Languages of Children, by Drs Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
GFB, Ideal Foster Carer July 2020



Ideal Fostering
Anchor House | 4 Bridgeman Street
Walsall WS2 9NW
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